Randomness and thoughts on self-sabotage

October 30, 2014 by hmshoberg

Much like this post, we are random sort of people. It’s good that the kids fit in so well, although I imagine when they’re older they will look at us with confusion, but also that look that teenagers give their parents when their parents are being… parents. They’ll roll their eyes and give us pitying looks, their poor ridiculous parents. And then I’ll have to remind them that once they thought we were pretty cool.

I know, I know, this post has zero direction to it, much like our lives at times. We have plans for the future, but in all honesty they’re a bit foggy. We sometimes plan for the weekend, but more often than not, we just wait and see. There is a lot of waiting and seeing. I like to think we’re living in the moment, but I’m not sure that’s exactly what it is.

Perhaps I should finally finish reading that books I picked up so long ago… Face the Fear and Do It Anyway. Uncertainty scares me and rather than actually living in the moment, I kind of put a bubble around myself. Rather than seeing endless possibilities as a great thing, I see it as a frightening prospect, even if I’m not entirely happy with how things are at the moment, in which case I should change things, but change can be unnerving. It’s a really silly thing.

I think what I need to do is set realistic goals and not subconsciously sabotage them, which I’m really good at doing. I couldn’t figure out why suddenly I was having trouble sticking to a budget, and ultimately, I’ve figured it out. If we save and meet our goals then there will be no excuse but to jump into the unknown, however, if the money isn’t there and other things don’t work out then nothing will change, which isn’t better, but it’s comfortable because I know it and exactly what to expect.

So, no more excuses. Time to actually set some dates on some goals and put forth real effort to make them happen. Every time I see Enzo struggle with change, I am reminded of how hard I struggle with change, and I want to learn how to roll with it and show him how to do the same. I have to be a strong role model in these kids’ lives, which means I need to step out of my comfort zone and become a stronger person.

Photo… Dump? Deposit?

May 29, 2014 by hmshoberg

Photo dump just sounds so… blech, even though that’s kind of what this post is. I take so many photos of the kids and random things and end up editing them and uploading them, but don’t always use them in posts. So, I thought I’d just do a random mish mash post of things that happened and sort of fell through the cracks in the last few months.

I love making cookies, but when I do I never hear the end of it and Enzo won’t stop talking about them, and he’d sit down and go through the entire batch in one sitting if we let him.

It’s hard not to take about a million photos of this little girl… especially since her brother doesn’t like to sit still anymore and is more interested in what’s going on behind the camera than being in front of it.

She’s not quite as serious as she was a few months ago. Now she seems to be constantly smiling moving – not that that’s a bad thing!

Sigh… soon she won’t be using the Bumbo. She’s been doing so good with sitting up on her own. I still tend to stay really close, but even when she falls over she does it in such a graceful way… not like Enzo who would suddenly just tip and BAM. I guess he got that from me.

Mmm… cake. I should make more of this. However, the caramel sauce that day did NOT cooperate. Why do I have such trouble with caramel??

This guy can be so serious as well… his determination lives on, however now that he’s a 2 year old he makes it known when he gets frustrated. Sometimes he’ll just stay silent for a minute and huff, but other times he yells – more like roars – and throws whatever has made him mad.

In this case, he happened to be mad at Elmo for some reason. Or me… and he was taking it out on Elmo. That happens sometimes. So far we haven’t had to deal with much grumpiness from Phoebe (though I’m sure that will come), so let’s just end this post with another ray of sunshine, shall we?

Random banterings with my significant life partner lover person…

April 29, 2014 by hmshoberg

It’s almost daily email strands like this that remind me of our first text conversation before/after our first date. I suppose it’s silly things like this that make our relationship work. It may only be amusing to us, but I’m sharing anyway because it’s my blog, and maybe I’ll want to remember these silly little things later. 😉