Randomness and thoughts on self-sabotage

Much like this post, we are random sort of people.  It’s good that the kids fit in so well, although I imagine when they’re older they will look at us with confusion, but also that look that teenagers give their parents when their parents are being… parents.  They’ll roll their eyes and give us pitying looks, their poor ridiculous parents.  And then I’ll have to remind them that once they thought we were pretty cool.

I know, I know, this post has zero direction to it, much like our lives at times.  We have plans for the future, but in all honesty they’re a bit foggy.  We sometimes plan for the weekend, but more often than not, we just wait and see.  There is a lot of waiting and seeing. I like to think we’re living in the moment, but I’m not sure that’s exactly what it is.

Perhaps I should finally finish reading that books I picked up so long ago… Face the Fear and Do It Anyway.  Uncertainty scares me and rather than actually living in the moment, I kind of put a bubble around myself.  Rather than seeing endless possibilities as a great thing, I see it as a frightening prospect, even if I’m not entirely happy with how things are at the moment, in which case I should change things, but change can be unnerving.  It’s a really silly thing.

I think what I need to do is set realistic goals and not subconsciously sabotage them, which I’m really good at doing.  I couldn’t figure out why suddenly I was having trouble sticking to a budget, and ultimately, I’ve figured it out.  If we save and meet our goals then there will be no excuse but to jump into the unknown, however, if the money isn’t there and other things don’t work out then nothing will change, which isn’t better, but it’s comfortable because I know it and exactly what to expect.

So, no more excuses.  Time to actually set some dates on some goals and put forth real effort to make them happen.  Every time I see Enzo struggle with change, I am reminded of how hard I struggle with change, and I want to learn how to roll with it and show him how to do the same.  I have to be a strong role model in these kids’ lives, which means I need to step out of my comfort zone and become a stronger person.

Sleep, or lack therof

I’m beginning to wonder when kids hit that magical age where you can just put them to bed and then not worry about them until a reasonable hour in the morning.  Someone please tell me it’s sooner rather than later.  We had a brief stretch where both the kids were doing great, and then things changed.  Enzo stopped easily going to bed and now we’ve had to put a gate up to keep him in his room.  I can’t remember when it started, but I remember finishing up in the kitchen and turning around to suddenly see Enzo just quietly standing there looking like a creepy child of the corn.

These pictures only sort of have to do with this post. :p

We haven’t a decent bedtime and routine for the kiddos, which can be difficult because we get home a little after 5:00 and then need to get dinner made and if it’s bath night, baths need to be started by 6:45.  Phoebe goes down first around 7:30 and is usually out pretty fast. We try to be out of Enzo’s room by 7:45, which used to be fine, but lately he’s been having trouble falling asleep and will open the door several times usually saying that his tummy hurts (it doesn’t) or that he needs a hug or a kiss or a high five or he wants mommy to sleep with him.  Lately he hasn’t been falling asleep until after 8:00pm and usually closer to 8:30.  He’s been then waking up at around 5:30-6:30 every morning (weekends included), which doesn’t seem like enough sleep, especially since he does seem to get cranky and on the weekend will take 3 hour long naps.

You’d also think that when the kids do wake up earlier than usual we’d get out of the house sooner, but no.  Instead, there is often chaos and some mornings I sit them both on the bed with one of Enzo’s shows so that I can get ready.  Granted, now that Phoebe is more mobile the bed thing doesn’t happen often anymore.  Instead one distraction after another must be found all while trying to keep the stinker away from her brother’s breakfast.

Can I just tell you how much I’m looking forward to one day sleeping in on the weekends and waking up to find that the children have gotten up and gotten their own cereal and are quietly amusing themselves?  I may or may not be a tad sleep deprived lately.  There just always seems to be so much to do and rather than going to sleep, we find ourselves staying up and watching one of our shows or reading because it’s the only time to really unwind.  There must be time hiding somewhere, I just have yet to find it.

Visitors from Colorado

Without a fail, the weather will never cooperate when you have family visiting from out of town, so my dad and stepmom got to experience some blustery fall Minnesota weather while they were here at the beginning of the month.  The kids could have cared less about the weather, though.  They were simply happy to have Grandma and Grandpa visiting.

We stayed pretty close to home for their visit, which was fine for all of us.  They braved the wind one afternoon and went for a walk, while the rest of us stayed in jammies… which is kind of just what we do when we aren’t planning on going anywhere – guests or no guests.  Ha ha.

 

There’s nothing quite like having grandparents around that makes kids get extra silly for some reason whether it be in person or on a phone call.  Both of the kiddos were eating up the extra attention and Enzo would wake up in the morning and immediately want to know where Grandpa and Grandma were… alas, he did that for a few days after they left as well.

We did get at least one nice day out of the weekend, though, and decided to go to the zoo so we could walk around and get some fresh air. It could not have been a more perfect day.  The animals were loving the cooler temperatures and were being more active than I’ve ever seen them before.  I also didn’t get the camera out once… it seemed like so much work as we had once again schlepped way too much stuff with us and I didn’t want to dig it out from under coats and who knows what else.  Anyhoo.

 

The animals were all in a playful mood and it also wasn’t super crowded, which was even better and meant we could linger at a few of the enclosures just a bit longer than usual.  I mostly wore Phoebe so we could pile stuff up in the stroller, but the stroller was nice when it got chilly looking at outside animals and then I could put her in her puffy coat.  She loved watching the fish, as did her brother, so we are probably due for another aquarium visit soon.  Maybe that will be her first real walking adventure too!

One of these days we’ll hopefully end up closer to Colorado and in a more central location to all of the family on both sides.  It’s always been the plan, the puzzle pieces just haven’t matched up yet.  I’d love for my kiddos to be able to get to know my side of the family a little better, though, before they get too much older.  On an unrelated note… kids are so uncooperative and hard to photograph. I don’t think I have a career in child photography ahead of me. Ha ha.

And…. Surprise – everyone look surprised!

Ha ha. Outtakes are so much more fun, right?

Miss you guys already!

Friday Funday!

We have a low-key weekend ahead of us, which is always kind of nice. Perhaps I’ll get to some organizing since the kids are always outgrowing clothes and I need to put away the smaller sizes for our garage sale next year.  I’m actually excited about having a garage sale… I love the getting ready part of organizing and setting up.  Weird, I’m sure.

This rant on baby advice is so true.

A little quiz on what international city you should live in.

I’m apparently a Rio gal: You’re the girl (or guy) from Ipanema! The colors and flavors of Rio are vibrant and inspiring—just like your soul. You admire contemporary art and carefree, tropical fashion. You also love spontaneous nights spent dancing in the street and look forward to days bronzing on the beach.

Finding inner zen in 5 minutes. I should probably print this out and read it now.

And… Marriage on Instagram v. Marriage in Real Life. 😉  via Sometimes Sweet

Photo Dump

There isn’t a lot going on right now, and I’ve got a bunch of random photos that never made it into posts either because other pictures were used instead or they never worked anywhere (which would explain why they look familiar), so now seems as good of a time as any to put them somewhere.  If you only knew just how many photos were on my computer… soooo many.  When you’ve got two kids constantly moving the best thing is to just keep snapping and just hope for a decent shot or two.

Still obsessed with cars and trucks.

I wonder if we’ll have a musician on our hands… she LOVES all things musical.

Ack, that grin.

So glad her eczema cleared up with age!

Hey, look!  Food!  Remember when I used to take pictures of what we were eating?  Ah, the days before kids… now I barely have time to compose any shots at all… good or bad.

Still working on getting this kid to try new things… we’ll get there.

Will her eyes stay blue like Enzo’s?  Hard to say.

Tutu.